Tips for a Successful Marriage

blog post 3.4.16

jcathell2 jcathell4

My sweet parents just celebrated their 38th wedding anniversary on April 1st…yup, April Fools Day, haha.  They have a beautiful relationship, I’ve never seen people their age so flirty and cute.  They act like they are still teenagers so it’s pretty funny to be around them. My dad doesn’t take too much seriously and my mom is easy to play a joke on, so they are a good time for sure!  Read below some of her marriage tips on how they have kept it solid, fresh and  flirty for 38 years!

Treat your husband like a king – Don’t be afraid to treat your husband like he’s the most important person in your life because he’s supposed to be!  Do lots of little things to nurture your relationship, i.e., prepare his favorite meals, make an effort to do thoughtful things for him, allow time in the evenings after the kids are in bed for just the two of you and turn off the electronics.  (You can use the excuse the blue light disrupts your sleep cycles.)  Tell him you want to snuggle.  Good communication in a marriage is vital.  Just be wise and approach difficult or stressful subjects at the perfect time. And definitely not when you are both tired or rushed.  My own mother couldn’t stress that enough!

Schedule regular date nights.  It is very important to get away from your children and just focus on each other.  Find something you both enjoy and do it together—it doesn’t have to be at night—just without the children.  Also, whenever you watch TV sit side by side, hold hands, give him a neck rub—be affectionate.  When our kids were teen-agers, they were always telling us to “get a room” even though we were just being a little affectionate! Don’t be afraid to mix things up—you might just be surprised how well that goes over!  Variety is the spice of life.

Oh, and while we’re on the romantic side of things…  Keep the mystique!  After 38 years of marriage, my husband and I both still run the water faucet when we’re in a hotel room or close quarters.  Needless to say, certain personal sounds, smells and sights (does he really need to see you flossing?) are a big negatory if you want to keep the mystique.

Be a wife of substance. Keep your vows to be faithful.  Be completely trustworthy and loyal.  Don’t talk bad about your husband ever–to anyone!  Be playful and enjoy your relationship.  Be an encourager to your husband.  Believe in him and show respect.  Pray for your husband.  You may be the only person on this earth who is doing so!  Put your personal interests after your husband’s needs.  Never underestimate the time it takes to have a great relationship.  Statistically, being overcommitted is one of the biggest causes of divorce. Overlook faults, don’t keep score and most certainly count your blessings each day.  Out loud.  To yourself.  Or play the blessing game.  Say, “We’re going to say five things we’re thankful for and I’ll go first.  Make sure you rotate one after another.

Put your spouse before your children.  Your children will one day grow up and leave you and if you don’t place a high value on your relationship with your husband…he might too!  If you find you are like “ships passing in the night” then do something about it as it’s a red flag.  Schedule times (yes, it’s not spontaneous, but it’s better than nothing) to be with your spouse physically.  You will be amazed how this can soon improve your relationship.  Text him little sweet romantic comments during the day.  Check in to see how his day is going.  Stay connected, interested and available to your man!  Make sure he knows he’s your top priority (at least the majority of the time) in your life.

Never utter the “D” word.  Marry for life, dig in and never even consider a divorce.  Don’t run from or ignore your problems.  Be the best spouse you can possibly be each and every day.   Attend church with your family, join a good Bible study, read books on marriage and communication, find some grounded girlfriends.  Never give up!  If you “get stuck” for long periods of time and/or have problems that can’t be resolved, see a marriage counselor.  There is absolutely no shame in this.  If you care about yourself and your children, you will find the courage to do this.  Plus, you both will be so much happier in the long run and who doesn’t want that?

Short on time?  Does all this sound like soo much work? Take a tip from my husband.   After I read this to him he said, “Well, most men would trade a lot of those things for the wife just being a hunk of burning love!”  (Disclosure: his comment has been white washed a bit.  😉  So, if you are short on time some weeks…Well, use your imagination!

What are your favorite ways to keep your marriage fresh and flirty?  I would love to hear your comments and ideas!

 

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    1. Sounds like it’all about him. what about you? Don’t get me wrong, I love serving my husband, but doesn’t the same standard apply for him? The bible says the husband should study his wife and learn. Good advice but every marriage is unique. Just because the husband ALWAYS thinks about “burning love,” there are tons of other issues to contend with.